Own It – What Makes You, You?
This was my last post for 2018, and I wanted to leave you with something of value to start your 2019 even greater. Therefore, this post is dedicated to those who are having a hard time accepting themselves for who they are, for them to realise that taking ownership of who they are will lead to personal greatness.
So, let’s be clear on this, you will never be someone you are not supposed to be. You may wonder why my life is like this, when in fact, flaws in all, you make your life the best it can be. All the past experiences and memories made have shaped your life. The thought may linger that it is for the better or the worse. But eventually, you make things happen if you want them to.
Just gaze your eyes upon your surroundings, you’ll realise that everything happens for a reason. You cannot depend on other people for your happiness, for they will leave you helpless if you have those expectations of them. Therefore, you must want happiness for yourself before anyone will want it for you.
So, How Do You Do That?
“If you want to dress a certain way, live your life a certain way, act a certain way, then own it. You need to live up to the person you put out there. You do this by accepting who you are.” I couldn’t say it any better than Lauren Alexander.
So, what is the best version of yourself? Because you need to be that person. People have a tendency to influence your opinions, actions or thoughts. However, you only have yourself at the end of the day and live with the consequences of your own actions.
So, taking ownership of who you are is something you need to wear with pride.
Many of us go through life wondering about the “what ifs.” The truth is that people will always be prettier, nicer or have a better life than you. But there will never be a person like yourself. You may meet people similar to you during your life, but in the end, you are unique. Be someone you strive to become, a person that other people would want to meet and be around with.
Stop Negative Self-Talk
When you’ve accepted for who you are, it’s time to put in conscious effort to stop negative self-talk. Don’t be ashamed about it, because this is something that we all struggle with; we all think down on ourselves when we don’t accept who we are. Think back and ask yourself how many times someone has given you a compliment and you’ve shrugged it off.
When someone compliments you, reflect on the experience. It’s okay to be humble and that’s a wonderful trait to have, but learn to appreciate your own hard work and efforts — especially when others are noticing it as well. Make a mental note of how well-appreciated it was and what you did to achieve that goal. Eventually, when you’re working on other things, you’ll have a boost in your self-confidence.
The thing is if you are not happy with yourself, people won’t be wanting to get to know you. People have a habit of picking small tendencies about you before you even know it. So, when you are not happy being you, others will start to notice.
No One Else’s Opinion Really Matter
Surely, you’ve met and you’re going to meet people who will knock you down. Sometimes, they are good people, and sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes, they are angry and quick to judge, or sometimes you just caught them on a bad day. Sometimes, they just suck in that moment, and you were an unfortunate bystander.
No matter what, they will take it out on you, they will tell you that you aren’t good enough and tear you down.
We get caught up in others’ opinions of ourselves too often. As a result, we adjust ourselves and hide personality traits we think may cause others to laugh at us. So, the idea of “owning it” comes back. Why should you care what other people think? Are they you? Are they living your life? No!
Believe me, other people have their own personality traits and talents to worry about.
Get Serious About Your Goals
Once you know who you are and what you want to be, it’s time to set goals for yourself and take serious steps to get to them.
If you want to become a writer, then start writing. Search and reach out to support groups and people who can help give you ideas and edit your work. If you want to pursue higher education, then start thinking about your career path, your interests and personality traits, and make smart choices on the classes you take and how they can help you to reach your goal.
What it all comes down to is that in order to embrace what makes you who you are, you have to be proactive. I often hear the phrase, “You don’t have to do anything,” being thrown around. That’s only applicable if you have no goals in life. If you do have goals, then you “must” make certain proactive decisions and get started.
So, figure out where you want to go in life, and take steps toward achieving that. Find a way to make all of your personality traits, quirks, interests and hobbies work together. Start developing your personal brand, become an industry expert, be honest and true to yourself. Don’t let life pass you by with you trying to be someone you are not. You may work towards having better traits, but that comes with time.
What You Can Do Now?
For each person, regardless of you’re a leader, manager, worker, or student, having a continuous willingness to be vulnerable is the fundamental difference between staying stuck in today and leaping into tomorrow.
When there are no guarantees, we must be willing to act decisively and confidently by sometimes depending on others for our success, saying “I don’t know” or “I’m scared.”
Start going where you have never gone before, and create the space for others to do the same.
- How will you start your 2019?
- What personal changes do you strive for in 2019?
Have your say in the comment section 🙂
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The content was rather grabbing and interesting enough
to receive all probable nuances to recall. I really do get pleasure from reading the material and the composing manner of the writer, etc..
So it’s a crazy thing. Once it dawned on me to do things for me, life became much easier. Thanks for the insight, I really appreciate reading other people’s perspectives!
Thanks Jessica and you’re welcome 🙂
Stopping negative self-talk I think is the hardest! We are all our own worst critiques. Thank you for this post, I really needed it!❤️
Thanks Alexzandra! And you’re very welcome 🙂
I really needed this post right now. It’s so true that you can’t depend on others for happiness… At the end of the day, all you really have is yourself (so it’s worth the effort to focus on your personal growth and wellbeing).
One of my favourite quotes, by George Bernard Shaw, is “life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”. I think this post really speaks to that message as they both encourage you to take ownership of your life and growth.
Thank you for sharing your insight 🙂
Hi Danielle, I’m glad it helped! And thanks for sharing that wonderful quote 🙂 I might use it for my upcoming post.
[…] Source: Own It — What Makes You, You? – MAQTOOB For Entrepreneurs […]
Great insight! Thank you for this.
Thanks Abby 🙂 And you’re very welcome!
Love this post! Some thought provoking questions to ask and such a great time of year to think about and rediscover more about yourself. Happy 2019!
Thanks Heather! It’s a constant work in progress 🙂 Happy 2019 to you too!
Fantastic post once again Ye! When reading your post I saw myself in there many times. It opened my eyes to the fact that I have to work on my self esteem more. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Doug, thank you! Make it happen, slow but steady 🙂
Wow! such an inspiring post, your posts are always with great self improvement tips. Thanks.
Thanks John! That means a lot to me 🙂
Really positive post to end 2018. Look forward to reading more from your blog in 2019z
Thanks Phill! Have a great 2019! 🙂
This article is exactly what I needed to read! I have struggled with self confidence in the past and I started to work on myself and accepting me for me.
Well now I’m in the new role of first time mom. So I feel on some days I’m having to re build my personal opinion of me. I have fallen to the trap of comparing to other moms on social media who seem more out together or as you said prettier.
As I was reading your article, I found myself agreeing to a lot of what your said. I also told myself, he’s right! There may be better looking people out there but I am me and look what I have done.
I am proud of where I am today and I think i need to get into that habit.
I am actually doing a 2019 goal of keeping a grateful journal. At the end of each day I will write down 3 things I am grateful for or something that made me smile that day.
What better way to reinforce positive thinking?
Thanks for sharing this! I will definitely being sharing on my fb page as well!
Hi Justine,
It seems you’re aware of your own thoughts, and it’s great to hear that you want to keep a gratitude journal in 2019! I designed a digital version where you can read about and download here: https://ye-chen.com/a-better-and-simplified-gratitude-journal/
There are tips in there based on research 🙂 I hope this helps and thank you so much for sharing! Have a wonderful 2019!
2019 will be the year that I will be using all the talents. Playing small is over. Negative self talk is something that is quite challenging but with help of good reads like this, it is attainable. Thank you for the good read. Happy New Year Ye Chen! =)
Hi Danica, it’s so great to hear from you! I like it! I’m joining you in playing big next year 🙂 Thanks for the kind words and a Happy New Year to you too Danica 😀
Cheers to all the good things that are coming. I am looking forward to reading your book. How are you so organized?
Hi Danica! 🙂
I may not be as organised as you think I am haha. I think this is something I might write in my ebook. Anyways, the only thing I can give away at the moment is that I always organise my tasks around what I’m able to control. However, I avoid having everything under complete control, because it would mean that I’m performing below my limits, meaning that I’m capable to do more. So it’s okay to have things a bit out of control 🙂
Fantastic post. The most important thing you’ve said (for me) is stop negative self talk. So so important. Thanks for a beautiful post. Best wishes for 2019
Hi Liz, it’s important indeed and I hope to remind you with this post as you go into 2019 🙂 thank you and best wishes!
We’re working on our “19 for 2019” goals now and this is the very process we are going through as we decide what to focus on and in order to manage our expectations. You’re right; it’s not always easy to know what is a conditioned reflex and what will genuinely lead to your vision for your life. In fact, that’s why we can not skip those questions that help us actively evaluate what is the next best course of action. Thanks for reminding me how important it is to know thyself first.
Hi Vox, so great of you to decide on what to focus! I think when you have it all clear and lined out, taking action will be much easier. You’re welcome and thanks for your comment 🙂
This post really resonated with me. I especially liked the part where you mentioned that other people will start to notice when you are not happy with yourself. I didn’t realize how important this was until just this year and it has been such a huge eye-opener for me. Thank you for sharing!
You’re welcome Chelsea! 🙂
I really like this. I often times can feel myself trying to “fit in” with people I know, but it often times makes me not enjoy life to it’s fullest. Really great article!
Hi Davonne, I’ve been there as well and it indeed feels like sucking the energy out of me instead of giving me energy whenever it’s something enjoyable 🙂
What a fantastic post! I really needed this, so happy I came across your blog today!
Hi Molina, I’m glad it’s helpful 🙂
“So, when you are not happy being you, others will start to notice.” This is so true. When I was a teen, I lacked self confidence and others avoided me as a result. I also, like you said, couldn’t take a compliment; in fact, sometimes I could be downright rude when people would compliment me! I felt I didn’t deserve it or they didn’t mean it. Now as a teacher, I see these same traits in some of my students and it drives me crazy sometimes. I just want to shake some sense into them so that they can see that they are amazing as they are and don’t need to impress anyone. But I know they’ll just have to figure it out for themselves, as I did.
Hi Kate, great hearing from you! I was the same when I was younger – super bad with compliments, still am a bit though. Haha I think that’s the better choice 🙂
Beautifully written! And, I can’t agree more – our past and experiences shape us for who we are.
Thanks Masooma 🙂
Love your perspective.
Thanks Beth 🙂
This is such a great (and timely post). In 2019, I am creating more space for my goals. I’ve spent the majority of 2018 aligning my goals with who I am at my core. The next phase for me is unapologetically saying ‘no’ to things that take away from that in various forms.
Best wishes to you as we close out this year!
Hi Hannah, you’re taking some great steps towards a new year! Great hearing from you 🙂 Wishing you all the best!
I love this, so true! I will start 2019 submerging myself in spiritual wellness to grow my self-awareness and self-contentment! It’s going to be a good year! Thank you for the post, good read!
That’s a great start! Thank you 🙂